Opportunities and Responsibilities

I am thoroughly enjoying my iced tea today. I brewed it this morning, so it's real and fresh. Well, I guess I don't know how old the bags were...but I feel good about this. Yum. I feel like it opens up my throat, and with this humidity, I need something to open me up and clear my head.

I had the pleasure of being able to visit with some college friends last night. I was able to work on both of them, which was an honor. I really mean that. Bodywork is a very intimate thing, and it's not always easy to accept, so when someone opens themselves up to me, I feel honored and very thankful. There is much in our world that is closed off and locked up, and it's always invigorating to be able to share calmness and peace with another person. It's the exchange of energy, the awakening of spirits, and just a moment that can be easy and good.
We also had dinner together and great conversation. They live in the same state, but we, unfortunately, only see each other maybe once a year. I want that to change. I am going to make a fall trip...it just needs to happen.

I was reminded last night of one of the reasons I decided to start blogging in the first place. I wanted to write again, and hand written journaling wasn't happening for me. I wasn't disciplined enough, and, quite honestly, I write too slowly for the speed of my thoughts (this isn't me saying I'm excelled, it's me saying I can be completely manic on the most regular of days).
This past year, I had an incident at work that made me realize I needed an outlet again. I needed to find an outlet that I would use, and that I could share. I had thoughts that I really felt swallowed by, and an itch to throw them around. A co-worker and I got into a heated argument about gay marriage. I'm a believer of equality. He, obviously, is not...or at least not for ALL people. I won' t go into the verbiage, because there's too much. What bothered me the most was the look in his eyes. He's a great guy. A funny, smart, nice guy, but what was that!?! The look was so hateful and angry, and it stirred something in me, my own anger and despise, for Hateful People. I could have walked away, and I almost did, because I got so mad, and we were at work. Luckily, the room that this altercation happened in was a secured, badge-only entrance space. The conversation went on for a good half hour, until another co-worker entered the room, and we were interrupted. After that co-worker left, there was a silence that I would normally laugh at, but I felt so much disappointment. He tried to laugh off the whole incident by saying "You got really mad", as though he had been "kidding" the whole time. But I called him on it, making sure he knew that I knew he HAD NOT been kidding around, and that I knew he was trying to laugh it off now. He didn't say much. I normally cannot debate well, because I stumble around, get choked up, and if I get too passionate, I want to cry. It's not pretty, and it's hardly influential. This time, however, I was able to form words and sentences and they flowed out of me without tripping over each other. I even made eye contact and refrained from too much hands-on-the-hips-I'm-an-angry-little-mom action. Thank God, I left my hips out of it.
Anyways, my delivery is a small part of this story. It was important to me that he knew I was disappointed and angry that he had those views. I wanted him to know that, because I like him, it made me sad that he had so much hate. He didn't say anything to that. It was uncomfortable, and that was completely appropriate. It would have been an act of cowardice to have made it comfortable.
What do you do? What do you do when you truly like a person, but they have views that are not only different politically, but also different and conflicting on a humane level? He hates that people are gay. Does he hate all gay people? No, I really don't think he does, but how can you be so consumed with disgust and anger because a man loves another man, or a woman wants to adopt a child with another woman? How does their love affect you so much that the sparkle in your eyes turns into something beady and sharp?
Without hesitation, I still like this guy. I do not like his views, and I hope that he was able to see how his own hate affects how someone sees him. He knows we are friends and I wonder if he considers how I could distance myself from him because he has this darkness, but I don't. I feel like that wouldn't change anything, and even though you aren't supposed to want to "change" a friend, I hope that I can help him. Is that arrogant to want to "help" someone not hate? Do I have that ability, or even the energy?

This is why I needed to write again. Where else can you put these questions? How can someone hold onto all the questions they have and not spread them out and let them connect with others? I hope these concerns I have can find their match out there and become louder. I don't think there is even an answer, but maybe if they are loud enough, everyone will at least listen.