Questions I ask myself that could turn into a mediocre blog entry:
1. What are the rules for being friends with your male co-workers?
2. Can a straight guy and a straight girl be Just Friends?
Ok, it's obvious that this subject has been plaguing me lately. I have been friends with my male co-workers for years. We work together, talk about life outside of work, lend each other movies, text each other, and, I have even attended the church one of my male co-workers and wife attend. Until recently, I have never felt this to be an issue. I still don't feel it is, but I feel like it might be for the wife of a co-worker. This woman knows me; I've been to her home, she's worked in the same building as me during the busier times, and I felt that we had gotten to know each other better. If I'm going to be completely honest, I had felt a strange vibe from her the first time we met, but I thought I was being paranoid. The thing is, I certainly do not want to cause any problems, but I do want to be able to be Just Friends with the guys I work with. Will I address the issue with either the male co-worker or his wife...nooooooo way.
Another male co-worker, with whom I am close to and trust more than anyone else at work, has said many times (not about his particular situation) "Guys can't be friends with girls", to which I responded, "You're my friend", and he goes "Yes. True. We don't text though."
So, I guess it really has to do with the level you are at in your friendship. I email this guy, but since I don't text him, it's still Just Friends activity. I have, however, drove his drunk a** home at midnight.
The major indicator for why I think the Woman of male co-worker has an issue with me, is because when I walked into his office one day and started talking about work, her voice came over the speaker phone (he didn't indicate he was in mid-conversation with her), and she said "Since your girlfriend is there, I'll let you go" and HUNG UP. Perhaps they had been fighting, or maybe she was just irritated, but eeeee....I apologized and he didn't seem concerned, except for saying, "That's fine, let her wonder"...uh, no, let's not. He was joking though, so this tells me that I'm being overly sensitive.
I don't want to be "that" woman, but I also still work here and will be friends with these people. My husband thinks the Woman is just dumb, and more than likely, they were having other issues and I just walked in at a bad time. Still.
Can a guy and girl be Just Friends, especially if both guy and girl are already in a relationship, and this other person comes along AFTER the first relationship has been formed? Is it different when you work with them? Does age make a difference?
Is life just really too short to dwell on a topic like this? Probably. I'm bored with this entry, I apologize if you are as well.
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2 comments:
Weird. Definitely they must have been having other issues and she was pissed at the moment. But I'm sorry you have to be involved at all.
Remember When Harry Met Sally? Harry said men and women can't be friends. I don't know. I think yes, but not often. "Sex always gets in the way". Even if one is just interested in the other, or attracted...that counts as "getting in the way". But I'm working on what I think about this... :)
Yes, we have talked about this. It is a case-by-case issue, and I think it's absolutely dependent on an individual's feelings. However, there are always many more feelings (from other people) that do end up playing a part. All I know is that she's not a woman I want to mess with.
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