I'm not purposely trying to post such sad family tales, but I guess that's what's happening in my life regarding my family...my grandma is dying. My mom left me a voicemail last night to tell me that her kidneys are no longer working, her lungs are filling with fluid, and she is sleeping only because she's medicated.
Please tell me what this is supposed to teach us. Her suffering is unfair and unnecessary. She has been saying (when she was talking) how she wants to go, how she wishes God would take her, so what is the purpose of these final days? Is she supposed to do something more? Are we? Is someone praying to keep her alive because they can't see that she needs to die?
I was asked years ago, by my grandma, if I could write and give her euology. I feel this is a tremendous responsibility and honor, but I also felt guilty when I started working on it four years ago. I do feel I will need to work on it again very soon. I pray that I do.
3 comments:
I'm really sorry to hear this, Laurie. I hope she doesn't suffer much longer.
I no longer wonder what god's motivations are. It's impossible to know our own motivations or our neighbor's motivations, let alone god's. god is the beat of your grandmother's heart, your mother's, your sister's heart, your father's, your brother's, as much as he is the gun in your brother's hand.
I am so sorry.
And yes. God. It's too hard to try to guess. It's made me very unhappy when I try to understand what's going on, yet to not know...Maybe that takes time, the peace.
I will pray for your grandma, and for your family.
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